This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm too high and old for this...
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