When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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