once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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