well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
