Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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