No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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