Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
