Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize