before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
