his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
