Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
