We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
either way he was missing a nipple.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
