I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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