There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
