walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
