ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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