Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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