Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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