Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
pray to the hookup gods
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
