Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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