Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
