Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Even the bartender felt bad for me
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
