i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
soo... how was my night?
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