and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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