No, drunk sperm still make babies.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
