Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize