the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
