I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
