a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
