it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
