sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
