I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize