I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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