I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
