Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
