toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
accomplished twins. life is a go
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
