Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
