her vagina looked like bernie madoff
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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