Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
