so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
