hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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