why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
