just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
