i permit you to call me
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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