3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I need help removing her.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize