I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
