Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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