Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Alive.
So much puke
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
