allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
