I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
