Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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