just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
