This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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