Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
