I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My dick has a subreddit
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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