We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
