Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize