Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
