ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
zippers are such a cool invention
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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