If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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