i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
