i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
