I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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