I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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