talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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